Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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