if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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