Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
