Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
