I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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