Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
