Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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