you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
