no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
