My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
