I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
