During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
