Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
