Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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