I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
