remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
