this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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