I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
