R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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