i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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