And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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