I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
