apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize