just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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