If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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