Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
My ATM looks so different sober.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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