Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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