my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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