Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
