I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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