I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
