I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You have to summon your inner elephant
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
pray to the hookup gods
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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