Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
