I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
