fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
