I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
