I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize