apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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