his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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