why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
