I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I cannot find my penis.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
