I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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