So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize