if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You don't make any sense
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