I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
