How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
