I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
