Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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