Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
