just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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