Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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