whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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