I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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