he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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