a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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