Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
