return my video game
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
