She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I need a beard to bite.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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