we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
