drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
