dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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