I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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