Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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